ceremonies in december! aawwwww yeeeaaaaahhhhh
My friend Matilda is feeling sick so i made this for her.
There are inspiring words by Vonnegut
or beautiful pictures by someone or other.
There are bitter recriminations from her bitter
view of a world tainted by our history
which we don’t study
nobody ever studies anymore.
We just speak. Write. Record
and struggle to find solace when all we’re given
is more music to calm us, enthrall us.
Stories to arouse us, drive us, spark within us
the fires we left behind when we grew
because fires untempered won’t help you through
your new grown up worries. You must tame yourself or else fail.
failure is for others, the masses of others,
forget them, its about you, don’t fail.
Keep striving, work hard, it’ll pay off,
it’ll pay off soon, any moment now. In money.
Don’t ever find time to stop and remember your loneliness
Fill it. Fill the void. With pleasure.
Food. Drink. Sounds. Spectacles. Delights.
Give me something else.
Give me another cure for it.
Not just more distractions.
Someday i’ll be true to myself.
Dancing to The Black Keys whilst preparing dinner.
and immediately i was struck with a sense of attraction. Not like that. No I mean the type that just controls your attention like a child tugs at a parents sleeves. It’s probably happened to you before, on a bus, the line for a cinema or some other everyday place and for some strange reason your mind becomes centered around somebody else that isn’t you for a short period of time.
Just then my mind could have woven narratives about any aspect of her life, the way her blue headphones framed her brown hair or the punchy yellow of her sweater, the way her mouth seemed to quiver before she spoke. Maybe she was cold in the winter melbourne weather and felt like eating something. Maybe she was on the way to the city and just needed lunch.
Out of all these unknowns there was one fact and that was her hands were covered in red and brown splotchy bruises and her wrists were painted in red self-inflicted lines when she paid for the order.
When was the last time you felt genuinely miserable through empathy? I did the other day and it didn’t last long but it was real and it was terrifying and I don’t think I will ever forget the girl who commanded my attention or her crisscrossed wrists.
I won’t see her ever again.
Between you and me, I absolutely cannot for the life of me ever communicate to a satisfactory level. Not really. You can speak to another and hazard a guess they’re feelings and motivations, you can notice similarities between how you feel about something and the concept someone is trying to relay to you. But its mostly language through an opaque window.
But sometimes. Sometimes you hit gold and conversation is like the flow of warmed honey.
is… moral relativism could save the world.
Because nothing would be bad and bad wouldn’t exist.
Then everything could be good.
I think i’d shoot myself in a world like that though.
Black and White is trite, it’s a tired judgement to
make of a person nowadays. But damn if it doesn’t
feel good to have convictions.
(Source: ahintoforanges)Read more
I’ve got breakfast half ready and put out on a tray with hot water in a thermos and some bread in the toaster ready to be heated. Now i’m just waiting for my mom to wake up so i can put it all together with the spreads and the card….
But its been half an hour and i really need to go to the toilet.
I don’t want her to come downstairs while i’m in the toilet.
What is my life people? What is my life?
oh wait she’s awake!
(also - she doesn’t like breakfast in bed if somebody was thinking that)
Written a day before posting
Hello Melbourne Airport Wi-Fi.
no i would not like to pay four dollars for 15 minutes of internet.
would you like it if i charged you a thousand dollars every time i threw my rubbish into a bin?
An exagerrated analogy i know, and not a very good one (aw hell, its terrible i won’t kid myself) but the internet… is a human right.
you know that no?
(Source: ahintoforanges)Read more
A hoon; blaring my car horn down the road and become the hushed whispers between kids in the neighbourhood as they walk through school gates.
“Did you hear it as well?”
The boy on the train; offering his seat to the first person who looks like they need it, and become, a piece of gratitude towards society and all its children.
“And he was such a polite young man”
A rascal; making jokes and playing tricks, nigh on cartwheeling down the road and beoming an over the dinner table story between couples as they fill the silence between them with little anecdotes.
“without a care in the world! Like he didn’t even notice me!”
The musician; humming ditties and whistling tunes everywhere i go, becoming an infuriating melody stuck in peoples minds such that it is cursed at, but still repeated.
“GARH, no not aGAIN”
The Gentleman; making conversation with one and all, delighting with facts, deep with opinions, abundant with humour and to become a memory of a most enchanting night out.
“No, see that was most definitely not what he said, he SAID…”
Another human connection: reminding somebody else once again that if our brains are the most important organ in our body, then our sentience is at once the most amazing and isolating of consequences it creates. Becoming, for one moment, a HUMAN human being to one who might have been most terribly, terribly lonely.
“I can’t say, there was just… no i really can’t explain how i’m feeling right now”
I want to be the stories people tell each other, recollections of a strange quirk of the day, a representation of a different time where things were much less the same. I want to live on, as another memory in the collective consciousness of the world. An impression. My impression.
* ♫ The very best, like no one ever was ♪ to catch them was my real test, to train them is my cause ♪